I don't know how should I act. Happy? Sad? Depressed?
As you all know that yesterday was the released of the O' Level result. I would just say that I did really badly for it. I mean for English. I did not expect to see that result to actually shown on my slip. But what to do, I deserve what I get. I can't even blame anyone because I know it is my mistake. I should blame myself for not putting all the effort in my studies. Now, there is no use for me to cry over a spilled milk. What done is done. I'll have to look forward and concentrate on my future. What are my plans. I won't be the weak girl who will just look at the pass and cry over it. No! I want to be strong girl who learn from her mistake and make sure I won't do it again.
Anyway, I would like to thanks all people around me who have give me the courage to face myself again. For being by my side no matter how shit I have acted towards them. For giving me words of encouragement, stay with me when I cried like a baby.
When I think about it, it makes me realise how much I have hurt the feelings of my parents who have worked hard for me. Making sure I receive all the basic necessities for school. Trust that I will do well. But in the end, English is blocking me. I make them cry because of me. I hurt them. Why am I so useless? Why can't I make them proud of me? Every parents will scold their children when they did not do well, it's normal. They did that because they care. And what did I do, I neglected that. I'm really sorry for what I have done. I will do well in the future and promise you to become a better daughter who will make you proud. Amin...
The one that comes to me first when they say my eyes covered with tears are my friends. Thanks for all the care that they pour for me even though I did not always treat them well. I know sometime I'm being a jerk for hurting you all. But, I just can't help it. They came to me and soothe me. Thanks. Their words really give me strength to move forward. Giving me advice when I know they don't even do it themselves. Hahaha... How nice! Thanks for enduring the shit that I do. I may not be the best-est friend that You all may get or have but I promise that I will always come to you when you call don't know how tome. Even if I seldom reply to your message, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not able to be by your side when you were crying because I'm seriously bad in making people feel better. I don't know how to persuade people. Even if sometimes my advise is sarcastic and is really a pain in the ass, you really take that seriously and make sure not repeating the same mistakes again. I'm not good with words, even that I don't come an d approach you, I still care and will stand for you right even if I don't show you. Once again, sorry.
Words of encouragement from them.
Ameerah Hanifah. She's pretty right. Wah dah pandai pakai make-up nampak. Anyway, she is one of them that stay with me when I am down. Making me feel worthy. Making me feel that that is not the end of the world yet. Yes, I do agree sometime that I hate how she is much better than me in all ways. She motivates me to do well and study harder. She still stay strong even if I throw harsh words towards her. Even if I blame her when it was not her fault. Even if I scold her when she did nothing wrong. I'm sorry, I just want the best from you as I don't want you to be hurt by the bastard that don't deserve you. Why cry for someone that does not worth your tears. But once again, I'm really sorry.
Seri Ayuni Natasha. She her act cute face?? I feel like punching that. HAhaha.... She's the only one of the minah girl that I actually make friends with. I gonna blame her for teaching me bad words! Anyway, this act cute girl has been through a lot. I hope you learn something and don't repeat the same thing again. She gave me long text message just to make me feel better. She came to me and tell me that I'm strong to face all this. There are the others that will always be my side. And I will not be alone. She cared about me a lot. Thank you so much. I'm sorry for what I have done to you.
Salina Sultan. Girl, you awesome. Thanks for teaching me math and help me improve a lot in math. You are the source of encouragement in math. Thanks so much for enduring me for this whole 4 years and listening my singing (or should I say screaming in tune) when I know my voice is horrible.
Seri Nurfirdiyanna. Seri!!!! Thanks for all the things that you actually gave to me. Thanks for being by my side for this 4 years. Even if I'm not doing a good job as a friend, you still stay by my side and encourage me to do better. You endure all the problems that I gave you, the mood swing and others. you come to me when you saw me crying in the hall and hug me just to make me feel better. You always give me advice when I'm having problems. You stay with me for night study cos you know I can't study at home. Thanks a lot. I really appreciate at the work you've done for me. And once again, sorry for what I have done to you.
Lastly, Muhd Arshad. Yeah, he is the only guy friend I'm close with. Why??? He is my best buddy when it come to joking around. he knows how to make me laugh without even trying. Even if sometime his jokes is seriously not funny but you just can't help but to just laugh at him. Bro, thanks for enduring me. I sorry for bullying you. A lot. Hahaha... Anyway you bully me a lot also right? we same lah. 0:0. Thanks for making me laugh when I'm having hard times.
That's all. I really appreciate all the care, love and attention that you all pour for me. This may not be written in Good English but what's important is the gist of it. You all have to appreciate it, okay? Do you know how hard is it for me to actually express myself? Like I said, I'm not good with words. But anyway, thank you for being there for me for this pass 4 years. this is the 5th year of our friendship. I really treasure it. Enjoy your future and make sure to do well in studies!
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