No Use Crying Over A Spilled Milk. Live Still Goes On.

Assalamualaikum... Yeah, I'm back!

I don't know how should I act. Happy? Sad? Depressed?

As you all know that yesterday was the released of the O' Level result. I would just say that I did really badly for it. I mean for English. I did not expect to see that result to actually shown on my slip. But what to do, I deserve what I get. I can't even blame anyone because I know it is my mistake. I should blame myself for not putting all the effort in my studies. Now, there is no use for me to cry over a spilled milk. What done is done. I'll have to look forward and concentrate on my future. What are my plans. I won't be the weak girl who will just look at the pass and cry over it. No! I want to be strong girl who learn from her mistake and make sure I won't do it again.

Anyway, I would like to thanks all people around me who have give me the courage to face myself again. For being by my side no matter how shit I have acted towards them. For giving me words of encouragement, stay with me when I cried like a baby.

When I think about it, it makes me realise how much I have hurt the feelings of my parents who have worked hard for me. Making sure I receive all the basic necessities for school. Trust that I will do well. But in the end, English is blocking me. I make them cry because of me. I hurt them. Why am I so useless? Why can't I make them proud of me? Every parents will scold their children when they did not do well, it's normal. They did that because they care. And what did I do, I neglected that. I'm really sorry for what I have done. I will do well in the future and promise you to become a better daughter who will make you proud. Amin...

The one that comes to me first when they say my eyes covered with tears are my friends. Thanks for all the care that they pour for me even though I did not always treat them well. I know sometime I'm being a jerk for hurting you all. But, I just can't help it. They came to me and soothe me. Thanks. Their words really give me strength to move forward. Giving me advice when I know they don't even do it themselves. Hahaha... How nice! Thanks for enduring the shit that I do. I may not be the best-est friend that You all may get or have but I promise that I will always come to you when you call don't know how tome. Even if I seldom reply to your message, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not able to be by your side when you were crying because I'm seriously bad in making people feel better. I don't know how to persuade people. Even if sometimes my advise is sarcastic and is really a pain in the ass, you really take that seriously and make sure not repeating the same mistakes again. I'm not good with words, even that I don't come an d approach you, I still care and will stand for you right even if I don't show you. Once again, sorry.

Words of encouragement from them.

Ameerah Hanifah. She's pretty right. Wah dah pandai pakai make-up nampak. Anyway, she is one of them that stay with me when I am down. Making me feel worthy. Making me feel that that is not the end of the world yet. Yes, I do agree sometime that I hate how she is much better than me in all ways. She motivates me to do well and study harder. She still stay strong even if I throw harsh words towards her. Even if I blame her when it was not her fault. Even if I scold her when she did nothing wrong. I'm sorry, I just want the best from you as I don't want you to be hurt by the bastard that don't deserve you. Why cry for someone that does not worth your tears. But once again, I'm really sorry.

Seri Ayuni Natasha. She her act cute face?? I feel like punching that. HAhaha.... She's the only one of the minah girl that I actually make friends with. I gonna blame her for teaching me bad words! Anyway, this act cute girl has been through a lot. I hope you learn something and don't repeat the same thing again. She gave me long text message just to make me feel better. She came to me and tell me that I'm strong to face all this. There are the others that will always be my side. And I will not be alone. She cared about me a lot. Thank you so much. I'm sorry for what I have done to you. 

Salina Sultan. Girl, you awesome. Thanks for teaching me math and help me improve a lot in math. You are the source of encouragement in math. Thanks so much for enduring me for this whole 4 years and listening my singing (or should I say screaming in tune) when I know my voice is horrible.

Seri Nurfirdiyanna. Seri!!!! Thanks for all the things that you actually gave to me. Thanks for being by my side for this 4 years. Even if I'm not doing a good job as a friend, you still stay by my side and encourage me to do better. You endure all the problems that I gave you, the mood swing and others. you come to me when you saw me crying in the hall and hug me just to make me feel better. You always give me advice when I'm having problems. You stay with me for night study cos you know I can't study at home. Thanks a lot. I really appreciate at the work you've done for me. And once again, sorry for what I have done to you.

Lastly, Muhd Arshad. Yeah, he is the only guy friend I'm close with. Why??? He is my best buddy when it come to joking around. he knows how to make me laugh without even trying. Even if sometime his jokes is seriously not funny but you just can't help but to just laugh at him. Bro, thanks for enduring me. I sorry for bullying you. A lot. Hahaha... Anyway you bully me a lot also right? we same lah. 0:0. Thanks for making me laugh when I'm having hard times.

 

That's all. I really appreciate all the care, love and attention that you all pour for me. This may not be written in Good English but what's important is the gist of it. You all have to appreciate it, okay? Do you know how hard is it for me to actually express myself? Like I said, I'm not good with words. But anyway, thank you for being there for me for this pass 4 years. this is the 5th year of our friendship. I really treasure it. Enjoy your future and make sure to do well in studies!

Bab 10 (Giveaway???)

Telifonku memainkan lagu Dynamic Black 'Yesterday'. Ia menandakan panggilan masuk. Aku memicit butang hijau tanpa melihat siapa yang menelifon.

 

"Hello Assalamualaikum." salamku telah dijawab. Isyh! Apa dia nak lah!

 

"Awak, saya dah ada dekat depan rumah awak ni. Bila nak keluar?" Eh, dah sampai? Sabar boleh tak? Kan aku tengah siap ni. Belom pakai tudung lagi ni.

 

"Sabar lah! Awak sendiri yang datang cepat sangat!" tanpaku sadari suara aku meninggi.

 

"Ye ke. Rasa saya tepat pada waktu je... Awak tengah buat apa?" aku? Aku tengah buat apa? Masih boleh tanya? Hish orang ni! Kalau pun nak berborak bukan time macam gini lah. Dia sendiri nak aku keluar cepat abis sekarang dia sendiri yang membuang masa aku. Bila aku nak habis siap pak cik oi.

 

"Saya tengah berenang! Dah lah tak ada masa nak berborak dengan awak. Saya nak siap. Sekejap lagi saya keluar. Bagi saya 3 minit." tanpa menunggu jawapannya, aku terus mematikan talian. Gila betul lah lelaki ni. Aku tak pernah jumpa lelaki macam dia.

 

Aku mencapai beg tangan hitam Guess yang dihadiahkan oleh ayah dan menyumbat buku nota, kotak pensel dan telifon bimbit ke dalam beg itu. Ringkas! Aku membetulkan baju kurung hijau muda yang telah tersarung di badan ini. Menyembur sedikit minya wangi sebelum bergegas keluar dari bilik.

 

Ayah kelihatan seronok berbual dengan si bapak gila tu. Siap dengan ketawa lagi. Lagi, mamat tu ketawa macam tak ingat umur. Geramnya aku tengok si dia tu...  Siapa lagi lah kalau bukan Riziq tu.

 

"Ah Sya. Riziq datang nak jemput kamu. Tadi ayah nampak dia tunggu kamu dekat luar,  ayah suruh masuk lah. Minum air ini dulu sebelum berangkat." ayah tersenyum melihat aku sebaik sahaja terlihat kelibat aku keluar dari bilik. Tahu tak ayah yang dia sekarang tengah berborak mesra dengan anak tirinya? Hish... Aku melangkah perlahan menuju tempat duduk di sebelah ayah. Dengan pantasnya, aku meneguk teh yang panas itu. Masyaallah! Panas mintak ampun! Gila, lidah aku melecur! Kan, sekarang aku sudah menjadih tatapan dan bahan ketawa ayah dan Riziq. Mereka terus tertawa melihat gelagatku mengipas lidahku menggunakan tangan. Oi sakit tau ni! Aku meletak cawan itu dia atas meja dan terus melarikan diri ke dapur. Gila! Peritnya! Malu!

 

Aku membuka pintu peti ais dan mengambil beberapa ketul air batu dan mencampakannya ke dalam mulut. Kedengaran gelak ketawa ayah dan Riziq di ruang tamu lagi. Fikir kelaka ke? Memang betul lah ayah ni! Anaknya tengah kesakitan bukan nak hulurkan pertolongan, sebaliknya, aku ditertawakan. Aku melangkah kembali ke ruang atmu. Tiba-tiba ketawa itu terhenti.

 

"Dah jom. Kata nak jalan sekarang." aku mencapai beg tanganku sebelum menghulurkan tangan untuk bersalam dengan ayah. Selanjutnya, Riziq juga meniru gerak-geri aku. Aku tahu lah si Riziq ini sudah tahu bahawa ayah ini ayah tiri dia. Tetapi ayah tahu tak kalau Riziq gila ini anak tiri dia? Kalau ayah tahu agaknya apa yang ayah buat kat dia? Macam nak saja aku ngadu dekat ayah suruh dia berhenti mengurat dengan aku! Eh, terlebih perasan pulak aku ni. Mana tahu dia tak ada perasaan terhadap aku, aku pula yang nak lebih perasan.

 

Enjin kereta di hidupkan. Aku memasang tali pinggang pengeledar. Rasa tak selesa betul duduk dekat sebelah dia. Baru duduk je, belakang aku dah rasa panas.

 

Aku menoleh dan memerhatikan Riziq. Asallah tak nak mula bercakap dulu. Tahu tak dia ni aku rasa betul-betul tak selesa duduk dekat sini. "Berapa lama lagi kita nak sampai?" aku menanyakan sebaik sahaja kereta itu berhenti di lampu merah.

 

"Tak lama lagi. Kenapa? Awak tak nak cepat sampai ke?" dia tersenyum nakal. Mata dikenyitkan. Errrggg! Nak saja aku cucuk-cucuk mata tu. Tapi sayang, mata ciptaan allah yang satu ini sangat indah. Matanya berwarna kecoklatan. Sejuk mata memandang. Ya allah! Apa yang aku pikirkan ni?

 

Aku hanya mengangguk. Eh , apasal aku mengangguk ni. Kan patutnya aku menggelengkan kepala. Kang sekarang dia ingat aku ni teringin sangat nak berdua-duan dengannya kat dalam kereta. Memang tak lah! Perhatian aku kembali pada telifon bimbit di atas tanganku. Getaran telifon itu mematikan aku dari lamunan. Ada pesan dari Ryan lah!

 

-U dekat mana sekarang ni? I dengan Sarah nak pergi breakfast, ingat nak ajak u sekali. Nak ikut tak?

 

Ehhh! Nak ikut. Tapi kan... Aku memandang Riziq. Tak boleh.

 

-Sorry lah aku takk boleh join korang. Aku dah mula kerja hari ni. Sorry :( Lain kali lah ye.

 

Aku menekan butang send. Kalau lah aku tak kerja hari ni, mesti aku dah boleh jumpa diorang dua. Rindu sangat... Maklum lah dah nak masuk satu minggu aku tak berjumpa dengan mereka. Tiba-tiba aku teringatkan Masyita. Macam mana agaknya khabar dia sekarang? Sihat ke tak? Rindu pula aku dengan dia. Maklum lah kawan baik! Kawan baik tapi tak tahu khabar tentang dia. Apa punya kawan lah kau ni, Sya!

 

"Fatin, kita dah sampai." aku melihat sekeliling. Ini ke tempat kerja dia? Tak kan company dia Restaurant Banana Leaf kan?

 

Aku tetap tidak bergerak dari tempat aku. Pelik betul.

 

"Awak buat apa tercegat dekat situ. Jom masuk" suara itu kedengaran lembut. Meleler hati aku ni. Nak bekukan susah tau. Dah lah aku tak ada hati extra.

 

"Ni ke tempat saya kerja?" aku mengaru kepala yang tidak gatal.

 

"Tak lah. Awak ni memang lembab eh. Kita datang sini untuk makan lah. Kerja tu nanti. Yang penting isi perut dulu." kang kau! Kene makan dengan dia? Dahlah cukup tu hari aku makan dengan dia. Tetapi, badan ini menurut sahaja apa yang disuruh. Aku mengikuti langkah Riziq.

 

Selepas mengisi perut, kami baru bergegas ke pejabat. Berdebar jantung aku nak mula hari baru. Siapa tak derdebarkan kalau jadi setiausahawan anak bos. Aku ni mana tahu lah tentang jadi secretary ni semua. Yang aku tau cuma barang hospital dengan ubat-ubat.

 

Nasib baik cuma 3 bulan saja. Lepas 3 bulan aku dah boleh terus mula kerja dekat Singapore General Hospital. Dah dapat pun tawaran untuk mula bekerja. Tinggal tunggu masa je. Hehehe! Tak sabarnya aku!

 

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Okay, siapa yang b elom baca post aku yang sebelum ni, gi bace sekarang. Aku ingat nak kasih gambar EXO yang di handsignedkan oleh EXO sendiri kat korang. Siapa nak??? Dienya hansigned gambar to limited tau, I give it as first come first serve eyh. Kalau ada yang nak baru aku buat post macam nama nak dapatkan gambar tu. First, I have to see how many people interested in that first.

Sorry PeePs ^^ Giveaway???

Assalamualaikum kengkawan aku semua. Hari aku nak minta maaf kat korang dari dalam lubuk hati ku yang paling dalam. Maaf kerana aku sudah lama tidak menimbulkan diri dan aku tidak menepati janji ku untuk meng-update bab baru untuk HYKS. Aku benar-benar rasa sangat bersalah.

Mak oi!!! Aku nak pecah perut bila baca balik aku yang aku tulis kat atas. Macam drama-drama 10 cen pulak aku bergaya. Okay lah cam ni, aku minta maaf sangat-sangat sebab tak tepatkan janji. Bukan aku tak nak, aku tak boleh. Internet connection kat laptop aku hilang dah arnd 2 weeks... yang herannya kat laptop je! Geram! Tapi, tadi time aku bergodek-godek dengan lappy, aku picit sana sini. At last dapat jugak connection. Alhamdullilah. Ni aku nak tanya korang. ada tak siapa-siapa readers aku fans of EXO??? Kalau ada comment tau. Aku ada EXO punya gambar yang sudah di handsigned. Aku ingat nak kasih kat readers aku... I don't know if any of you interested in having that. Kalau nak bilang. Sebab aku nak kongsi kebahagiaan aku sikit kat korang okay. Anyway, I'll update the next chapter after this. stay tune peeps!!