Wow, I did not know that I might still be updating this blog and I'm not entirely sure if there will be anyone who actually gonna read this. Time has fly quite fast and soon, I'm graduating. No more playing and messing around once adult life starts.
Being in year 3 is not easy, many things happen and you will definitely meet with many difficult people and some nice ones. Many things happen during these 3 years. I have experience bitter and sweet moments in life and it definitely taught me something new every time.
People are very had to pleased. Keep in mind that you can never pleased anyone, and let me tell you, don't waste your time doing that. In nursing school, I have met many different people from different background, different behaviour and personalities that is differ from mine. Our views are different. But that makes the group stronger due to different opinions and views and everyone has to be open to feedback.
Being open minded and accepting feedback is important in group work. This doesn't mean you have to conform with the majority once someone pointed out your mistakes. Being selfish won't bring us anywhere. I used to have many friends. But... they surround me with negativity, making me neglecting what is my priorities. Happy? Yes, I do have fun and I really enjoyed myself... But now, it is just all memories and I just want those moments to remain as memories and no more reality. I hate myself for letting my inner self to be indulge with hatred which I'm not even sure... I followed around like a loss sheep. I love and really treasured the 'ones' that pulls me down, without me knowing I'm blinded with selfishness, arrogance and laziness.
Things happen and people does change. Change for the good! But some will stay and remain in that current position trying to pull others down together with them. Betrayal is part of life. It is not easy to face it at first as the 'ones' I trusted the most could actually make use of you to reach their goals. These people aren't actually loyal to you as friends, they are loyal to their need of you... Once their needs change, their loyalty change too. Thousands of excuses given. But, as a mature adults let's be frank, not everyone have lots on time on their hands. It's all about making time and prioritizing. I hate to say this but, it is the time when I have to stop crossing the ocean for people that wouldn't even jump a puddle for me. I work extra hard to ensure things are done well and everyone can move forward, and I really thought we are moving as a team. All those while, I was wrong... I was the only one who left behind while the others moves forward will my effort. What I get in return was -- a sweet talk -- behind my back.
This is a wake up call for me for not to waste more time with my dream lala land 'friends' and concentrate on the people who actually cares for me and willing to push me harder and work along side with me to create a better result. Alhamdulillah, Allah has better plan and he showed me the right path...
I'm happy with what I have even if the my circle of friends gets smaller, I know this is right for me.
