The Journey that Leads Me

Hello and Assalamualaikum...

"Difficult roads often leads to beautiful destinations." - Anonymous 

Deep enough? Heheh... not so aites. I am aware that I did not always blog. I won't say much as it might sound as an excuse. Time really flies really fast and I'm reaching the end of my journey as a diploma student.

*Disclaimer: Don't expect a perfect english write up here as I ain't that good in English (as some of you might know, if not, it will be explained further in this post)

I am left with another 6 more months till I start a new life as a working adult. It still feels like a dream to me to be able to complete these 3 years course. Definitely not an easy journey but I hate to say it is the most enjoyable one. Many things had happen, many things has change. But that is not what I am going to share here.

Last May, I did received an award >Director List< (only top 10% of the cohort will be able to get it). Hey, I am not trying to show off okay. Wait... When I received an email that I was awarded with that, I was in utterly shock! Never in my life have I expecting myself to get one. There are at least 700-800 students in my cohort. Come on, who would dream to fight academically with those people? Not me. unless we have a food fight, then I think I would be able to snatch the championship. However, I do dream of getting it but never did I hope to get one as I know myself well that I am not that clever to reach there. To be honest, I cant even make it to poly when I graduated from secondary school.

I received my O' level results with an 'E' for my English. (Hahaha! Now you know why you shouldn't expect a proper bombastic write up here right?!) I was demotivated and somehow felt depressed. Seeing my other friend make it to poly and starts with their studies while I'm here struggling to be a working teenager. I do not want to work but yet I have to as I wouldn't want to grow more fats by sitting at home asking for money from my parents when I cant even make them proud. I was embarrassed, I felt so ashamed to leave and meet with my friends and other family members. All I want to do during that time was just to bury myself alive. I'm to afraid to answer them.

Friend: So, which course are you in right now?

Me: I failed. So maybe, Inshallah next year?

Many things played in my mind. And I realised that those are just a scary events that I self-create because I expect too much from myself. Since young, I did not want to be seen as someone who is weak and low. But that also doesn't mean I stood out trying to be the smarty ass kid in class. I kept quite and just observed. If I'm not sure, I zipped up my lips. Wah...

I retook my English and the result doesnt come out good. I borderline passed my English. Wah piang, I swear cannot make it one. Then due to not being able to apply to my desired course, I chose Nursing which is the highest point. Disappointed? Yes, somehow... why? I'm not fond to nursing. I hate Bio. I hate being fake nice to people. I hate the idea of caring for others when I can spend that time to care for myself better. But not wanting to be a useless sloth for another year, I sign up for that course without knowing what is up for me.

Fast forward, I got accepted but again, I was surrounded with smart, act smart, lazy free loader and name it all guys. My!!! Before first sem start, I aim to get the Director List Award (DLA) but when I've gotten back my first sem result, I was like -forget it lah- Dream big only but never put effort also for what? To be honest, in that class I felt I was stupid, slow and one of the idiot students. They say words can be a prayer and I really failed my skill assessment. Wahhh!!!! I can cry already!!!! Why oh why? Hahaha!

With the support of my dear best friends, Hajar and Gana (Weyh, I feature you guys here!) and few friends and classmates who helped me to regain back my confidence to complete the paper. I was more than happy and thankful not to fail again which also means I did not have to repeat module! From this moment onwards, I work extra harder and starts to be more attentive in class but not when when my Korean oppa calling me to watch them. I start to learn to manage my time and find different types of learning styles that suits me. I was also forced to stay back everyday in the library till 9pm with my dear annoying Gana whom plays the important role to my success now.

I start to like nursing and enjoy it. I love biology. I can't believe how much i really hate bio last time. I love to care for my patients, hearing their stories and complains everyday. I love nursing as it doesn't limit my learning.

Today, I have received a letter from MOE congratulating me for receiving the Edusave Merit Bursary Award (EMBA). Not trying to be full of myself, like I have said, just sharing. I won't be able to achieve these things if I did not change. If i would be persistent to be the same old me, I will continue failing. But due to a change of mindset, it change my attitude towards learning. I am more positive towards learning, positive toward my friends and importantly positive towards myself. I'm thirst for success, I work towards it, rather than waiting for it to come to me.

Moral of this is that, things happen for a reason. It taught you something even though it is really painful and hurting. You have to cry and get wounded but that doesn't mean you can stop. You have to stand even how painful it is, you still have to finish up your own race that you start. Start thinking positively and everything inshaalah, will be better. Everything start from you and it also ends with you, yourself. Only you can change your destiny.

Thankfully, I have a supportive mother and friends that never stop pushing me forward. Thank you Gana for always be there for me and stayed through this hardship with me. Thank you for entertaining the competitive side of me and assure me that I have you to depend on.

Thank you Hajar for staying and be so supportive. We don't always meet, even if we meet, we often have small cute arguments but nonetheless, it was a fun one. 11 years... A very long one indeed. I love you!! Let's graduate and you can be missy Hajar!

Icha Nisa

I Hate that Feelings

Assalamualaikum...

What a really negative tittle I have there. I'm not sure if only me feeling this way, or others do share the same thing, I'm indeed a very sensitive person. BUT... I may not be obvious with my feelings to people.

I not sure why I did that, but I felt that I prioritize other people feelings before mine. I pushed aside my anger just to avoid conflict which later makes me hate myself and cry for no reason. I am being obtuse with situation and even with my own feelings. I kept on giving chances and push everything aside and always try my best to achieve my goals with all means even if I have to do the group work by myself. I really hate myself for doing this. I hate for not being brave and afraid to hurt others feelings, rather that hurting other's feelings, in the end I'm the on who suffered.

Some days, I just felt the need to cry, I don't even know why. I felt weak. I need someone to know how I felt. I need someone to know that I'm not okay. However, I'm not trying to give any verbal ques. The tiredness from being felt like being used and thrown away like a trash hurts me the most, but what did I do? I did nothing to compensate that anger nor betrayal. I kept myself quite thinking that the feelings might fade away and I AM GOING TO BE OKAY SOON...

To be honest I'm not sure where this blog post is heading towards and what am I taking and typing about. I know that my friends will not read this, and this is so called my 'safest' platform for me to express my emotion and truthfully how I felt deep within all the smiles and the "It's okay" that I have said hundreds of times in a day. All the people around me think that I'm a happy go lucky person. Yes, I am. But, I am not happy all the time when people make use of me. I am not okay if you be friends and treat me like a trash. Only when you people need me, you come to me. When your needs are all being satisfied, you walked away and leaving me waiting and waiting.

I am not blaming the people that did this to me. I just hate the fact that I really have to feel this way. I felt that I have no say. I felt that I have to keep myself quite. I am afraid that if I said something that is honest and be truthful about my feelings and emotions, people will hate me. I felt really insecure. And this have really nothing to do with people around me. The people around me could me the aggravating factors but in the end is all up and depend on me. It is all within me. I know I have to fight with my own self to be back to where I was, where I used to be... Otherwise, I could be forever getting indulge in this feelings and hatred of my own self.

The only things that I felt happy is when people can understand me, without having me to say. Which is nonsense. How can people understand me if I don't say anything? I find happiness when I reads those article of each horoscope traits. Not the daily one, the personality trait of each horoscope I mean. Those things are on point on pointing out my strength, weakness and worriness and it somehow make me felt that they understand where I come from, what I really meant. Somehow it gave me the sense that it is basically how I felt. I felt that those post actually understands me and sometimes it brings tears to me. I know you might find how pathetic am I to trust and rely on those things but that is the only way I felt being understandable. At times, I also do felt confused with myself and those post encouraged me and it somehow makes me felt that "It's gonna be okay, I'm going to be okay" idea and mindset.

I know this happens due to the the game that my brain is playing with me. But I know sooner or later I have to change this behaviour of mine and I really hopes the I could really stop hating myself for being this way. Insyaallah during this Ramadhan period it can give me inner peace and enlighten me on the things that I should focus on rather than concentrating on things that is not important to me.

Insyaallah.

Goodnight,

A Change from Negativity

Assalamualaikum...

Wow, I did not know that I might still be updating this blog and I'm not entirely sure if there will be anyone who actually gonna read this. Time has fly quite fast and soon, I'm graduating. No more playing and messing around once adult life starts.

Being in year 3 is not easy, many things happen and you will definitely meet with many difficult people and some nice ones. Many things happen during these 3 years. I have experience bitter and sweet moments in life and it definitely taught me something new every time.

People are very had to pleased. Keep in mind that you can never pleased anyone, and let me tell you, don't waste your time doing that. In nursing school, I have met  many different people from different background, different behaviour and personalities that is differ from mine. Our views are different. But that makes the group stronger due to different opinions and views and everyone has to be open to feedback. 

Being open minded and accepting feedback is important in group work. This doesn't mean you have to conform with the majority once someone pointed out your mistakes. Being selfish won't bring us anywhere. I used to have many friends. But... they surround me with negativity, making me neglecting what is my priorities. Happy? Yes, I do have fun and I really enjoyed myself... But now, it is just all memories and I just want those moments to remain as memories and no more reality. I hate myself for letting my inner self to be indulge with hatred which I'm not even sure... I followed around like a loss sheep. I love and really treasured the 'ones' that pulls me down, without me knowing I'm blinded with selfishness, arrogance and laziness. 

Things happen and people does change. Change for the good! But some will stay and remain in that current position trying to pull others down together with them. Betrayal is part of life. It is not easy to face it at first as the 'ones' I trusted the most could actually make use of you to reach their goals. These people aren't actually loyal to you as friends, they are loyal to their need of you... Once their needs change, their loyalty change too. Thousands of excuses given. But, as a mature adults let's be frank, not everyone have lots on time on their hands. It's all about making time and prioritizing. I hate to say this but, it is the time when I have to stop crossing the ocean for people that wouldn't even jump a puddle for me. I work extra hard to ensure things are done well and everyone can move forward, and I really thought we are moving as a team. All those while, I was wrong... I was the only one who left behind while the others moves forward will my effort. What I get in return was -- a sweet talk -- behind my back.

This is a wake up call for me for not to waste more time with my dream lala land 'friends' and concentrate on the people who actually cares for me and willing to push me harder and work along side with me to create a better result. Alhamdulillah, Allah has better plan and he showed me the right path... 

I'm happy with what I have even if the my circle of friends gets smaller, I know this is right for me. 

Failure is Never a Bad Thing

Hello and Assalamualaikum peeps!

I know it's been a decade since I have uploaded a post but don't and never worry, I'm doing very fine here. What the difference between now and then was that I have stored more than enough unhealthy fats in my body and never ever those were getting burned.

Anyways stop with those. Let's get back to the things that I wanna share with uolls.

...Failure is Never a Bad Thing...

I bet you have heard this sentence in your life before right? Be it once or million times. Yes, Some of you might already know that I am currently pursuing my Diploma in Nursing. Some might view it negatively and some might view it the opposite. However, I have to say that I like what I am doing and your negativity does not stop me from doing whatever I like. I heard too much complains and insult from family and friends whenever they heard what I'm doing. Is working as nurse a bad thing? No right?

Plus, to be a nurse is never an easy job. You have to face different patient with different characteristic and personalities that sometimes you need a break but never can. I've tried that once and I feel like hanging myself down. Being honest, I never find whatever I'm doing right now is easy. Being a nurse not only have to take care on the need of patient's medication but also the hygiene, we also have to learn and understand their emotions and there is a need to offer them comfort. It's not easy. In school we don't learn how to clean people's butt, we learn the proper and ways to prevent medication error during administering drugs, learn skills that you don't know, we learn psychology, sociology, biology, community healthcare, pharmacology and many others. See? It is not as easy as it seems.

And I have to say, I nearly give up. like literally give up. I sit for 2 trials on the assessment for the Wound Dressing and yet I still fail. I see all of my friends laughing and enjoying themselves while I'm here crying a bucket full regretting and reflecting on why I failed. Embarrass? Yes, definitely!  But then I realise that I have strayed quite far away from Allah. I have less frequently do my solat and basically I have ignored my job as a Muslim. That failing does wake me up, it plays a part as a reminder for me to seek help from him and not other people. I cried a ton, I failed... I felt useless... However, cool mesti kene maintain. Mana leh tunjuk cengeng depan orang kan?

So, today I sit for my last chance paper and I did better that my first trial. Alhamdullilah... I guess that is a kind of reminder for me not to forget him...

However, I still have to thank my wonderful and amazing friends for staying put and help me in all the things that I faced. I thought I can face all this by myself, I thought that I am strong enough not to cry, but I'm wrong... Because they show me that I am weak to be left alone...

Firstly, I have to thank my wonderful and amazing lady that have stay and entertain my nonsense for the past 9 years. To be honest, I don't know that our friendship can last really long... When I get to know that I failed twice, the person I felt embarrass to share is her, my dear friend, but I don't know what makes me tells her and her answers make my teared up.

See, simple words can already makes me touch...

Kept on giving me the moral support and stay put with me regardless all the things I have face and did to her. We seldom meet with each other, but I know that we will still friends till we old. Thank you so much...

Being in poly makes me exposed to different types of people in life with different personalities. I am friendly but if I'm being to friendly, and I joke, I might just hurt someone's feeling without having the intention to. However, I have to say that these people that I met in poly are just too amazing to let go.

I cannot... too sweet...

She is my Burmese friend. Even though we are not so that close, she is so kind that she is willing to comedown earlier to school just to help me on my skill. She ask me and approach me first regarding the help. Thank you so much Grace for heling me. There is no words can explain how much I appreciate all the help that you gave me. And yeah, thank you for entertaining and go along with my craziness.

Not to say my annoying old friend, indeed she's my aunty due to her age. Teheee! Sorry. I love you babe... At first there is barrier between us due to communication. But being different from the typical international student, she did improve a lot, and I have to say I am proud of you! I'm definitely not disappointed in you! Thank you so much for not being angry and always listen and keep me calm whenever bad things happen. Love you...

 

And lastly my great motivator and the one who keeps really calm even if I did a lot of nonsense to make her angry. You know how much patience she has on me. Can't be counted babybeh. She willing to stay with me till the night if I can, just to listen to my nagging and rants on other things, and she never complains. Yes, she is my ultimate grandmother...

Wait nope... She will nag at me! When I acted really unglam>.< OOpppsss! there is nothing I can do...

Lastly, the amazing wonder women who I respect the most. You know it's is not easy to be her. But because of her dedication to her dreams and study and of course being my friend (selitkan perasan sikit), she ever give up. hehheheh! Helping me a lot to buck up and continuous reminder to study, I really have to thank her a lot. Being able to feel accepted is the most important thing in friendship and she always make me feel that. Never look down on other people but instead trust them that they can do better than those who have background experiences. I really have a lot to learn from her, but definitely not that horh... Tepung...

See. that idiotic face of mine.

They always tell me that every failure always have a lesson to learn and there is always a meaning behind those failures I faced. Being disappointed and demotivated is normal especially when you are really at your down. However, having friends that understands and make you look at the brighter side are the most amazing friends that you can ever ask for. I know I am never good in expressing my thanks and gratitude towards you but, I really have to thank you mani mani on all the time you sacrifies to teach and guide me in this dfficult nursing journey. See, nursing is not easy but in Nursing, you can definitely find many good friends that of different background and attitude but they know what you need and what you want.......

Honest friendship

Love ya,

Icha Nisa

Nearly Being Fooled

Hello everybodehh!!! Assalamualaikum :)

Yes. I'm back. I have not been active lately and this blog seems like a zombie land right? Man, what am I up to these past few months?

Yeash, most of you might not know that I have already stated my poly life. In simple words, I am now pursuing my Diploma in Nursing. It's already been 2 months since I stated school and so far so good I am able to adapt to the school and poly life. Yes, to say that nursing is not easy, I might say that Poly is not easy at all, but i think the passion that I have in me that keeps me going.

However I'm not typing here to share my poly life, maybe when I already stated my attachment I might share about my experience as a real nurse but I dont think now is the right time for me to share it first as I have not stated hand-on nursing care yet.

Just like the topic tittle above, yeash I was nearly being fooled by some sales person and to be honest, I was really attracted at what he was sharing that I nearly buy what he is selling out to me.

So it happen macam ni, ya allah dah macam nak story telling eh?

I have a friend yang baru je balik dari Greece and she looks like she is really enjoying her self there. Aku ni yang macam jakun ni pun pergi lah tanya dia all the travel budget and the accommodation... all that stuff lah (macam lah aku ni ada banyak duit nak terbang ke sana) but what ever it is I'm still interested.

So her reply is simple, meet up and she will explain to me more. I was like - wow, nak kene ada special meeting pun- tapi aku tak de pikir pape lah. I just thought that she wants to tell me all the details and all. I agree and I met her and her another friend. At that same time, one of my classmate is also there with us. So a total of 4 people sitting at mac waiting for that guy untuk buka mulut.

He turns on a video and showed about the calculative of how much he as a travel salesman get every month. Dah part situ aku dah macam WTH? I already feel not comfortable as I kind of know where is this conversation is heading to. Tapi, I kept myself quite and continue showing that I'm still interested. You know that there is sometime you know what kind of nonsense shit a person trying to tell you but you still keep on listening to him? I don't know why I did that.

So he told me stated doing this 4 years ago (the travel club thingy) and now he is happy as he can. he sleeps when he wants, he wake up when he wants. He can travel around the word. So far, he went to 56 different countries in just 3 years? He is earning at least 10k per month. And I sat there like WOW MAN! You keen the job bro! he said that he have the money and he has the time. Good? Who don't want right?

So he showed us the membership thingy and also the app. I was in awe when I saw that I can only spend less than $400 to travel to Greece and get a VVIP hotel and all that stuff. Come on, which kid won't get lured by it right.

What I have to do is just get the membership and pay $199.99 AND MONTHLY $54.99. Good deal? could be.and he told us that when he say that opportunity, he quickly grab it and see now, just sits at home shaking his leg.

being a business salesperson apply a cost of $150 ONE TIME AND $20 MONTHLY. this allows you to sell it to people and where you can be "rich". Ouch! After all the breagging to maldives and all those beautiful mutul ternganga pounya tempat, he ask if we are ready. Aku nak cuma I feel that it not the time yet. I still have a lot of other commitments and school? Will I be able to pay this. The answer is an obvious NO! ButI just don't know what to say to myself and to them. aku pun ikutkan pe yang disuruh.

He told me that I'm still underage (still 17, must be 18). Aku hembus nafas kesyukuran. Allah tolong aku. But then he said nevermid, we fake your birthday. Ni pulak satu, dah tak betul lah ape yang aku nak b uat sekarang. Ni dah sama macam aku menipu. dah lah dia bilang, for now don't tell your parent as they might stop you from doing what you want ans they have not yet to see my presentation, bull to the sheet. Restu orang tua lah yang paling penting dalam hidup aku. Kalau tak ade restu dah jadi haram lah. Pape yang aku buat tak akan jadi betul, mesti hje ada halangan.

tapi tetap juga aku continue... Bile aku pikir balik sekarang. Bodoh juga aku eh?

Both of us reply YES. They both looked so happy and high-5 each other. Macam ade udang disebalik batu je korang dua ni. AND THAT POINT OF TIME, AKU TAK TAU YANG AKU KENE BAYAR SEBANYAK $450 THAT MINUTE AND THAT SECOND. Nak sahaja aku campak selipar pasar aku kat muka diorang. Aku punya selenge type in aku punya particulars and card no. After dah nak confirm, aku dapat msg that duit tak leh masuh. transfering failed lah. Nak tau kenapa? Sebab duit aku tak cuku, alhamdullilah. die suruh aku sign for the business part je. Aku tanya kenapa aku kena bayar $$365 when aku ingat cuma bayar $75? dIE EXPLAIN. DUH, AKU TAK CUKUP DUIT. Gaji belum masuk, bill dah bayar, mana taknye ade duit.

HAHAHAH! PAISEH MAK AI TAU DIBUATNYA! But maybe itu cara allah untuk hindarkan aku buat bende bodoh. sapa suruh tak tanya mak?

Then aku cakap not this time lah, gaji blom masuk, and I still need to go to batam and I still need a lot of money.

then I get away with the alasan I have to go work, dah lambat sangat. Which is true lah. on the way home, I think back about my stupid action, and betul menyesal. I went home and calculate how much I will fock out kalau aku beli membership tu, its more than what i can get!

I told my mum and she really understands me. Die cakap siapa especially budak seumur aku ni tak attracted with good deals, travel anytime with good amount but monthly teruk lah.

Lesson learn, tanya mak and bapak sebelum buat kerje bodoh. And there is no such thing as you can enjoy everything. The deal is too good to be true. I think back again, they are using teen like us for their own benefit. This is a lesson to learn.

INGAT TANYA MAK AND BAPAK DULU!

HEHHEHE!

| Have an enjoyable day ahead |


Much Love
IchaNisa

D.I.D? 7 PERSONALITIES IN 1 BODY

Hi and Assalamualaikum everybodeehh!

Yeah, at last I'm back with a new blog post. I know that I have been neglecting this blog for quite sometime and didn't put much effort in typing a new post.

But this post might be different topic from my usual topic. Yeah I'm talking about a new drama that I watch recently. I really have to say, this drama is really really good. But wait! Don't stop reading here and close my blog huh! I really have no regrets in watching this drama and I'm totally get hooked by the actor, Jisung and the co-actress, Hwang Jung Eum. Yeah, some of you might already know it's 'Kill Me, Heal Me'

This is the drama that I am talking about. Let me just give you all a little info about this drama. The main character, Cha Do Hyun in chaebol (rich human being that owns lots of property. Nak senang kata, orang kaya yang korang tahu harta tak akan habis kalau 7 generations makan tak akan habis liao) and he is facing with D.I.D, dissociative identity disorder or known as multiple personality disorder. This all happens because it is really tough for him to face his traumatizing past. He then decide to have his personal physicist, Oh Ri Jin (you get what I meaaannn??? Origin?) to help him cure and put all his personalities together. During his treatment with Oh Ri Jin, Do Hyun starts to gan his memories back, But, his personality is the one that held him down. Let me list down his unique and interesting and duh must be funny also, personalities!

1. Shin Se-gi: A bad guy who appears when Do-hyun experiences violence. He may be violent, but he never hurts children and women. Se-gi endures all of Do-hyun's pain as he is the only one who remember his memories. His first love is Oh Ri-jin.
2. Perry Park: a 40 year-old man and a bomb expert. he talks with Jeolla dialect
3. Ahn Yo-seob: suicidal, intelligent teenage boy and artist.
4. Ahn Yo-na: an extrovert and sassy teen girl who has a love for idols. You can't help but to laugh at his acting as a very sassy girl. Man! You can just fall in love with YoNa. 
5. Nana: 7 year-old girl who loves teddy bears. So far, I have not seen Nana yet. But there is little peeks of little Nana.
6. Mr. X: a mysterious guy. Haha! I really have no idea about this Mr. X even a ittle bit. But let's see if this Mr. X will show his charismatic side in this last 4 episode.

I really love how this D.I.D Kill Me Heal Me drama is different from the other drama that I have watch. This is the first drama that actually covers the idealization of the actor facing difficulties with handling his personalities. Not 2 but his other 6 personalities. Not easy but you know, you have to watch to know what I trying to say. With just watching the first episode, It get me hooked like a super glue ( alamak ayat dah boleh buat pick up line lah seyh.)

Anyway, without further mulut merampai, let's watch this clip from this drama!

Kan Yona dah sampai! Oppa! 

Oppa catch me! 

Hahaha! Lol! You just have to see his face when he decide to turn that unfair wheel and lands on Dohyun's side rather than SeGi's side. Invalid!

Now, I have showed you thee clips. Now you now why I loved this drama right. More funny scene but it will just be a very long post. I just salute how Jisung able to act out 7 different personalities. It's really challenging an really tiring. But, this is the top drama! Can't wait for the next ep to air. Keep a look out yow!

Love y'all!

IchaNisa

Oldest and Changes

Hello ! Assalamualaikum, Konichiwa, Annyeong, Ni Hao!

How are you guys doing? Aku sihat- sihat je. Hari ini ku nak berbual serious sikit. Sikit je. Tapi kalau terlebih tu, terikut imosi ke maafkan sahaja lah ye, kengkawan. 

Sebenarnya aku ni nak berbual pasal hidup aku sekarang. I dont know kenapa this past few week I have been more mature and wise with the decision that I'm going to make for my future wise. Ada yang tahu dan ada juga yang tak tahu, aku ni anak yang paling sulung dalam 3 adik beradik, and obviously as the oldest child you have to be responsible in every act and decision that you make or already made. I mean that fairly applies to every oldest child. And what burden you most is that you have to do well in everything, Not exactly perfect lah, tapi semi-perfect cos kan kat dalam dunia tak ada yang sempurna.

So, you will have carry the burden in making sure that everything is right on its place, dari kerje rumah, Bab rumah tu memang  lah kene kasih bersih, kalau tak memang lah kene siap sedia kene laungan harimau dari dearie mother kan. Tu baru kerje rumah je tau, belom lagi dengan studies. AH! yang pat study tu aku memang agak temp sikit. Nak kata aku rajin belajar itu, tak lah sangat rajin, cuma aku ni automatik. Tak payah lah orang ingatkan aku untuk belajar aku akan bergerak sendiri buka buku. Jap ehy, setakat buka buku je tau. Tetapi alhamdullillah dengan izin allah, senang aku nak hafal all those Hitler, Stalin stuffs, Tapi memangg kalau bab-bab compo, writing , dengan senang hatinya aku rebahkan bendera putih aku.

Get back to my cite, kalau aku suruh je adik aku yang kecik tu belaja mesti je ada alasan. Ini lah itu lah. bermacam alasan dia boleh bagi. Tetapi dalam banyak alasan yang dia bagi itu, alasan yang paling aku menyampah beruk is die selalu cakap bende ni. Macam ini lah mulut aku selalu.

"Ta, gi sana belajar. Satu hari belom belajar kan?"

"Kak icha tak belaja pe hari ni."

Huh kan ! ni je alasan yang dia boleh cakap and this, boleh buat tocang berincit aku naik tegak. Ye lah kan. Mana tak nye, bile aku belajar aku ajak di sekali dia tak nak, bila aku dah habis belajar suruh dia punya turn belajar, liat sangat nak baangkit, jauhkan mata dia dari skrin  hp tu. 

Klau memang tak suruh belajar pun memang aku tak kisah, tetapi as an older sister, sikit banyak mesti korang rasa bertanggungjawap atas apa-apa results yang adik korang perolehi kan?

And sekaranag ni bemacam-macam coaaban yang aku harus hadapi dan ini juga membuat aku belajar tabah and all those stuff, aku tak tahu lah macam mana aku nak jelas kan but it just make me realise that I have been living my life carelessly. But just like I said previously, I have realise my mistakes and im really trying to change myself to be a better person. ANd that does not require any effort, What you need is just keikhalsan and good mindset.

And korang tak payah risau, aku akan tetap menyambungkan novel aku, aku akan tetap update blog ini cos just with this blog, I am able to share my thoughts with the others.

Enjoy your weekend!

Lots of love,

Ichanisa

Assalamualaikum